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Change interface language 0:00 The Ten Commandments maintain an extraordinary hold on our imaginations even though many of them can sound – in
0:06 the context of our own times – really rather peculiar , with injunctions not to
0:10 covet a neighbour’s livestock or to make sure one doesn't carve images of god - like figures in the rocks .
0:16 The Commandments were responses to the specific needs of a small nomadic
0:21 community , wandering the Sinai peninsula with goats and sheep around
0:25 1,200 BC . Our needs have , predictably , changed a bit since then .
0:29 But a place for rules remains : because we're still
0:33 horribly prone to violence , cruelty and self - righteousness and need regularly to be reminded of how to
0:39 live peacefully and well with ourselves and our neighbours .
0:42 What would it be like to try to update the commandments for our own times ?
0:49 The good person is at all times
0:51 highly aware of their flaws and committed to becoming a better version of themselves .
0:56 They are not insulted if people point out their need for evolution , even when they do this rather clumsily .
1:02 A good person believes in ongoing need for moral and phsycological education . .
1:10 The good person knows that everyone is deeply damaged and a little mad , starting with ( of course ) themselves .
1:17 They are unfrightened by their own strangeness and are committed to informing those around
1:21 them of it in very good time , and apologising retrospectively when they have failed to do so .
1:27 They understand that part of their duty is to have a ready answer to the legitimate question ,
1:32 ‘ And how are you crazy ? ’
1:37 The good person is loyal in relationships not because they
1:40 think their lover is perfect , but because they know that everyone is pretty imperfect
1:44 and rather hard to live with at close range . They accept that the only people we can ever
1:49 think of as normal or easy are people we don’t yet know very well .
1:58 The good person knows that it is impossible to be wholly understood by anyone and accepts that things are going
2:04 well if one is very lonely in around only half of the key areas of one’s life .
2:13 The good person tries hard never to assume that other people should know what they are
2:17 thinking of or want without them having told them very clearly and kindly . They try to resist sulking ( behaviour that stems
2:26 from an incensed belief that others should know why we are upset without us having told them )
2:31 and are committed to teaching others about the contents of their minds .
2:38 The good person looks at people who are behaving badly as if they might be small children ;
2:44 that is with patience , charity and an active search for mitigating circumstances . Though
2:50 our societies stress the insult of being treated as younger than one is , the good person knows
2:56 it is the greatest privilege for anyone to look beyond the apparently strong yet nasty
3:01 adult to the worried , anxious and probably really rather nice child within .
3:09 Confronted with a piece of stupidity or evil which they could never be guilty of , the good person doesn’t fall
3:14 into self - righteousness . They swiftly remember all the many stupid and evil things they have
3:20 at other points , over different things , been guilty of . They don’t lose sight of how
3:25 much they overall stand in need of the charity and forgiveness of others .
3:33 The good person is committed to searching for the funny side of people who might appear merely desperately
3:38 irritating . They look at others like characters in a comedy rather than a tragedy . They know
3:44 that the greatest achievement is to be able to move from seeing someone as an ‘ idiot ’
3:48 to considering them as that most privileged of beings : a ‘ loveable idiot . ’
3:56 The good person is a firm believer in restraint and in not immediately saying certain things
4:01 that are on their minds . They hold that being fully oneself entails a level
4:06 of melodrama and rage that one should spare any human one cares about .
4:13 The good person knows that the best protection against impatience and paranoia is a little gently - worn pessimism .
4:19 They budget for disappointment far ahead of time . They don’t cry constantly only because
4:25 they have understood that the whole of existence is – in many ways – worthy of tears . Their
4:31 constant awareness of the possibility of death and catastrophe makes them especially appreciative
4:36 of small things that happen to go well . They relish flowers , balmy skies and so - called
4:42 ‘ boring days ’ when everyone manages to go to bed relatively content and at peace .
